the four right chords can make me cry

play/pause

Will not be updating this week, unless an emergency arises. Y'know, blogging emergency. Because I will be having many tests and much homework and catching up to do this week.

A good summary of my life so far can be found in leoel's blog sunday entry. Speaking of which, havent seen my red-haired, santa-claused senior in a while esp since I hardly go online now.

Happy birthday Grace!!! =) Wonderful OGL from USP camp. =) Lotsa hugs.

Got my email from esther! =) happy.

Got to talk to best friend! Happy. (I gush incoherrently, she listens)

Did not fail organic chem after all! Happy. Did'nt do exceptionally good. Sad.

The field trip that was'nt. The carpet shop owner was a no-show. (may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits) So we invaded this other carpet shop instead and the owner was super nice to us and obliged us an impromtu Q&A session and let all 25+ of us trample all over his $3000 carpets. Now I want a handmade silk rug (160 knots per square inch) too. only $10,000.

Gargh. Brain. Fuzzled.

Fuzzled?

posted by beckyboo @ 1:36 AM 3 comments

Call me Becklutz

Keep banging into things! It's amazing that i'm not blue-black all over, given the frequency with which i smash into things.

have been going out every single day of this week

Monday: went to joyce's house for PTA bonding session then went to Ba alawi mosque for field trip, got home after 12

Tuesday: supposed to be at KKE with serene aezoh and alvin, but it rained so we did some super top quality slacking and nua-ing in town area. Have just found the best bum-around buddies(BBB) in the entire galaxy. Watched The Terminal with Serene and Kel. Quite a nice show.

Wed: Went to CDC for my first full-contact day with the AIDS patients. pema sha and zat were there but left shortly after I came, joyce came just before I left. Went to give tuition. Went for TKD.

Thurs: Went to school to work on lab report and print stuff. Went to serene's house to nua somemore and we prayed for 1 hour plus. Went to town, met meiling (serene's dance friend) and keat (whom I havent seen in ages, it was good to catch up).

Friday: School resumes. After school went down to CDC again. After CDC spent some time in suntec with abdullah, nianlong and jacky (grocery shopping with 3 guys!), before going for another field trip. This time to the Arab Association for a samrah. So fun la!!! Ended at 12 plus, went for chilli crab supper with me dad after that, got home at 1 plus.

That was my incredibly busy week for you. Had alot of fun, very little sleep. BUT. No time to study!!! SHEET! Got 2 tests next week and as you can see, I have not studied for them AT ALL. Oh yeah, and let's not fail to mention that next sat I also have my TKD grading. SHEET.

Incoming
10:00-12:00 Thai language class (TLC)
11:00-1:00 Jihad lecture (clashes with TLC)
2:00-3:30 Driving lesson
1:30-2:30 PTA (play to AIDS) meeting. (clashes with driving lesson, call instructor to change?)

At least there's no bay this saturday!!! Extremely grateful for the respite. And the study break seems to suit my timetable nicely, I will actually benefit from the study break for once!

Hello to all you taggers! =) Nice to hear from ya.

posted by beckyboo @ 2:36 AM 0 comments

Heard this song on radio in the car that day, and the lyrics just grabbed my attention. By a band I've never heard of in my life.

Not where it's at :: Del Amici

With some girls it don't matter who you hang with
With some girls it don't matter how you talk
And some girls they are easy to be yourself with
But the one girl that I want, ain't easy to please with what I've got

With some girls it don't matter where you're aiming
With some girls it don't matter how you act
And some girls they don't care what car you came in
But the one girl that I want, she wants that one bit of geography I lack

Yeah, she don't want me 'cos I'm not where it's at

And some girls they will worry about reactions
And some girls they don't give a damn for that
But somehow I ain't ever in on the action
'Cos the one girl I want, she wants that one little quality I lack

Yeah, she don't want me 'cos I'm not where it's at

I don't have my finger on the pulse of my generation
I just got my hand on my heart, I know no better location

posted by beckyboo @ 2:00 AM 0 comments

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"My fear is that the younger generations, such as myself and those younger than me, will forget the struggles of women before us, and end up condemning them for the liberation and choices they wanted for their daughters. Take for example the debate between stay-at-home mothers and career women. Stay-at-home home moms claim that feminists are undermining motherhood and family by neglecting children. Career women denounce stay-at-home moms for lack of ambition. In the midst of this debate, people forget the fact that it is an achievement in itself for women to be able to choose either to stay at home if they wanted to or work if that suited them. Feminists never championed one option over the other. They simply wanted CHOICE."

~ Dr Suzaina A. Kadir
Deparment of Political Science
National University of Singapore
speaking at a 1999 forum "21st Century Women: Challenges and Choices" organised by Ba alawi Mosque Singapore (where i spent 3 hours today)

I admit. I used to think it very unambitious to be a housewife. Noble, but not exactly what I envisioned my future to be. The mundane life of housework, minding the children, cooking dinners. Cut off from the rest of intellectual society, your main concerns become the price of eggs and how much better your children are doing than Mrs Lim's kids from next door. I want a dynamic career, to work with the movers and shakers of tommorow's world. To be a high flyer. Not a stepford wife.

But what Kadir said is so true. Real feminism is about choice. And if enai chooses to be a housewife, well then great, she can, thats the great part. It's not unambitious, cos being a housewife IS her ambition. (correct me if i'm wrong dear). I think I get it now.

On another note. I liked being in the Mosque. The Imam was nice, the cappucino they brewed me was nice, the burial cloth of the founder of Sufism was so beautiful(and it was made more than 500 years ago). I liked the carpets everywhere, very nice to walk on, handmade. Arabic calligraphy is beautiful too, can't wait for the calligrapher to come to class on monday, prof alattas promised us that he would write our names for us free. I left the mosque with a deeper understanding of Islam and a profound respect for Muslims.

I realise, much to my utter disgust, that I have been brought up with a very lopsided euro-centric worldview. From the Western media, we are all led to believe that the Arab world is very backward, third-world. But I'm learning so much about their rich heritage, philosophy, science, art and architechture. In a sense I'm glad that I didnt get to study overseas, because right here in Singapore I will get an education with a uniquely Asian perspective. And Singapore is a great place to be educated, cos we not only have Chinese thought, Indian thought, but as I've learnt, great history in Islamic thought too. It is utterly naive and stupid to think that the Westerners have the monopoly on science and philosophy. But in schools we are taught with such a heavy western slant. One jarring example is that all Singapore history books begin in 1918 with Sir Stamford Raffles. Prior to the arrival of this great ang moh? We were nothing but a "sleepy fishing village". All our rich heritage and culture prior to 1918, dismissed as mere backwardness. "Sleepy fishing village"?!!?!?! WHAT AN INSULT!

And yet we accept this "sleepy fishing village" for fact. Never once do we question it, "but what about before Raffles?", we just swallow hook line and sinker that our culture was inferior to the Western one. We name our premier educational institutes after some low ranking ang moh who couldnt make it in his own country and so decides to come over to Asia and tries to pull a Christopher Columbus on us. Colonialism is very much alive and kicking in Singapore.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:28 AM 0 comments

Decided to update cos apparently, I actually have an audience! (Hi hozzy!)

okok, a prize to anyone who can tell me where these lyrics come from WITHOUT cheating by doing a search or anything like that. (prize= hug x 1)

Will you think of times you've told me
That you knew the reason
Why we had to each be lonely
It was just the season

Quite true ya, loneliness seems to come in seasons. And it changes the whole environment around you, just like the change from summer to autumn. Makes you look at things differently, you can almost feel the change physically.

this is the coolest site i've come across in a while.

Serene, I understand the book buying spree, very tempted to begin one of my own right now.

Books Becky Wants to Read
1) The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
2) The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
3) The Time Traveller's Wife By Audrey Niffenegger
4) The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
5) The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Off on yet another tangent,
I got my term break next week! Its only 4 days and I got alot of things to do in those 4 days, but I do want to meet you guys (my friends), catch up and hang out etc. So here's a list of things I wanna do and times I'm free do to them. If you're free too, and you want to do the same thing, then give me a call and we'll go!

Free: Tuesday whole day, Wednesday till 8pm, Thursday whole day.
but still have to fit in time for going to CDC, giving tuition and driving lessons.

Stuff I wanna do
1) Watch The Terminal
2) Go swimming
3) Read books at Borders
4) Clean my room

Something interesting I saw today while having dinner. This kid at the next table falls off his chair and his mum shrieks, leaps off her chair and starts fussing over the kid. I don't think he's hurt very badly at all, he just looks damn blur, holding on to his piece of bread with a blank look on his face while getting up from the floor. But his mum makes a damn big fuss over it, rubbing his head and making fussy noises. And she keeps on fussing, until finally he realises that she expects him to be crying, and so starts crying. So stupid la!!! These parents so scared that their kids will get brain damaged and next time cannot get PSC scholarship. Kids are meant to fall down and injure themselves la! And I've noticed that kids usually dont cry if they fall unless they think they are expected to cry, or that by crying, they will get attention. Let falling kids cry (and sleeping dogs lie) I say!

posted by beckyboo @ 10:47 PM 3 comments

Monday was tolerable. =
Tuesday was terrible*. =(
Wednesday was terrific. (^_^)

*until 7pm

posted by beckyboo @ 11:01 PM 0 comments

Pig Out

Went for jap buffett at miramar hotel today. Woah, I think i ate more sashimi today than I have eaten over the course of my entire life so far. I love the tuna! Sashimi has this great fresh taste I just couldnt get enough of. Loads of ebi tempura, jap curry, yakitori, grilled salmon fin, yellowtail, karrage, maki, tonkatsu, octopus, zaru soba (my favourite!!!), and tons of other things that I forgot the name of. GARGH really over-ate, and for a second day in a row too. heh. well had to get my $30+++ worth what.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:13 AM 4 comments

"sigh... bipolarity of life"
Esther

Well said! Very well said!

Esther is a friend I made in NUS (no, not imaginary!). It's been great, even though its only been a few weeks. She was my lab partner for molecular genetics =) was so comforting to see a friendly face all those times i wandered into the LT late and couldnt find a seat. Will always remember the library and her extremely funny stories about ah lians and bimbos in her physio class! Was trying very hard to suppress my laughter, bet the other ppl there trying to study must have been very pissed off! But if they'd listened, i think they would be laughing too! And let's not forget the leprechauns! Haha!

Felt that we get along very well, we amuse each other! but here comes to sad bit; she's leaving for scotland on monday. To study Med, what she really wanted to do, and so im really happy for her! And aberdeen! It's such a beautiful place... but cant help but feel this sinking feeling. No more esther to figure out what the TA is saying with! No more esther to complain about lecturers with! No more esther. =(

Alone. Again.

Strange sense of deja vu. First was when sookmeng went back to malaysia to study. Felt like a part of me was torn away and flung across the causeway. Really bad feeling. Then Enai goes to the states to study. Best friend. Nuff said. And now that i find someone in NUS who i click with, intelligent, funny and not a kiasu chao mugger, off she goes too. =~( Non-Singapore countries, WHY ARE YOU STEALING ALL MY FRIENDS?!?!

But thinking back, I'm really glad that I even know these people. That they were with me even for a little while. Bright beams of blessing shining into my life for a brief but glorious moment. God giveth and God taketh away.

Sad, but also very grateful. Sigh... The bipolarity of life.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:45 AM 1 comments

Worship 7th Aug 2004

267 He is lovely

I can see that you love Jesus first
Its plain to see
And that you sit close and hear
His heartbeat
For in your eyes I see shining love
That speaks so clear
And I can hear them saying so sweetly

He is lovely, He is holy
Gave supremely
That all men might see
He is gentle, tenderhearted
Risen Saviour
He is God

Master, Maker, Life Creator
Come, and dwell in me
That my heart may know
Your tender mercy
Shine through me
That all may see your love
So full and free
And I’ll declare your praises
Through endless ages

You are lovely, you are holy
Gave supremely
That all men might see
You are gentle, tenderhearted
Risen Saviour
You are Lord

posted by beckyboo @ 1:56 AM 0 comments

Tribute to Serene

How do I even begin to describe you? You're wickedly funny, point blank honest(and I appreciate that), encouraging and uplifting, a great sister-in-Christ! I'm so glad that we've gotten to know each other better this year, in many ways you've been my anchor and your prayers have provided a hedge of protection. In you I find someone who understands a part of me no one else understands. We love the same music, we would prefer to eat cafe food for the rest of our natural lives, and most of all, we serve the same God. I feel I can be honest with you and really tell it like it is, not what it should be. Thank you so much for being there for me, bugging me to get back on the right track and being concerned about me when I lose focus. Thank you for seeing through my lame excuses and not letting me get away with it!

Really enjoyed our outing today! Would'nt trade it for anything in the world. Just you me and cheryl, it felt really personal and special, not the usual showy ostentatious cake-and-balloons kinda thing. And the food quite good! Calamari rocks! Although the plates abit extra... haha. Hope that you had a good time too, and that you felt special, cos today is your special day =)

Happy 21st Birthday Serene. *big hug*

Love,
Becks

ps. didnt tell you, but it's also my OGL emily's birthday today! Looks like alot of ppl born in Sept eh?

pps. nice to finally meet jasmine! She seems nice!

posted by beckyboo @ 1:40 AM 0 comments

Oh my.

Sitting in the USP com lab now trying to do my lab report. IT BE NOISY. this girl next to be going on and on about tuition to some kancheong parent/client. With a fake accent! And the people on the other side of me are eating burgers?!?! Behind me there is a bunch of PRCs loudly discussing their work. Cannot concentrate... =(

The soundtrack of my life:

Well I don't know why I came here tonight
I've got a feeling that something ain't right
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair
And I don't know how I'll get down the stairs

Well it's clowns to the left of me,
jokers to the right
Here I am
stuck in the middle with you

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wondering what it is I should do
It's so hard to keep this smile on my face
When I'm going all over the place
Clowns to the left of me,
jokers to the right
Here I am stuck in the middle with you

When you started off with nothing
And you're proud that you're a self-made man
And your family comes all crawling
Slaps you on the back and saying
Please, please

Trying to make some sense of it all
But I can see it makes no sense at all
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor
I don't think I can take anymore
Well, clowns to the left of me,
jokers to the right
Here I am stuck in the middle with you
Stuck in the middle with you

posted by beckyboo @ 3:07 PM 0 comments

posted by beckyboo @ 2:41 AM 0 comments

usp dinner and dance 2004

I uploaded the photos into webshots, can go take a look if you want. Went through the old photos, woah... really miss my class people and those china days...

posted by beckyboo @ 2:31 AM 0 comments

The melting of the ice-cream girl

I close my eyes and melt into the sofa. Memory of the afternoon sun lingers behind my eyelids like a pleasant aftertaste. Slowly the warmth steals over me, creeping up on me like a slow-growing puddle. I only realise how stiff my limbs were, the tension in the neck and shoulders, as they gradually soften and relax. Soon, I am ready to dissolve, to dismaterialize, to disappear. I evaporate, and I am gone.

posted by beckyboo @ 5:37 PM 0 comments

http://www.getannoyed.com/professors.htm
Ways to annoy your professor #32

Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a guitar to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring."

lol. If it keeps me from falling asleep in lect, why not?

posted by beckyboo @ 10:50 PM 0 comments